IBS Awareness Month.

Tomorrow starts IBS National Awareness Month. This is a condition that I live with. Although it doesn't seem serious it effects your colon. It is not something that you can get rid of, but only can be managed. I hope everyone takes the time out to make themselves aware. Many people have IBS, but few don't know the impact it can make.

If you'd like to become aware please check out http://www.aboutibs.org/ .

Thank you for taking the time & your support.
- Ahlexandria

Mornings Without You.

Those days that I’d wake up next to you finally falling asleep. Or in the middle of the night to you watching shows while your arm was around me. The days where I’d get up, get ready & kiss you good-bye, but it really was “see you later”. All the moments where I was able to wake up & kiss you in the middle of the night, curl up closer to you. They’re gone now, I had to get used to sleeping alone. At first it was hard, I wasn’t able to do it, I had to create something to replace the warmth of your body, the way you held me. A big body pillow, a Hello Kitty teddy bear, all just to hope that I wouldn’t be alone at night, to feel safe when I sleep.

All those days are gone. I’ve had to learn to cope with it, learn to be alone at night. All the memories clutter my dreams, while I sit here & hope that I will have that one day again.

Bundled Up!

Bundled Up! a photo by Ahlexandria on Flickr.

Central Park. Saturday March 19th.

Central Park Bank.

Central Park Bank. a photo by Ahlexandria on Flickr.

Saturday March 19th.

Thick Women.

I love when a woman who is what society considers "over weight" treasures her body. When they can love every curve, inch & chicho they have. It should show everyone that self love is important & even when the world around us says that how we look is "ugly", we can be beautiful to ourselves.

Advice & Criticism.

Although the two are completely different things, they both help us grow as a person. By ignoring the suggestions people make, or what people have to say about us, we become closed minded & bad listeners. The key is to try not to take offense to what is being said, but use it to your advantage.

Big C's 1st Birthday! :)

I've known Jae for some time now & I couldn't be happier that she invited me to her little bros birthday on Sunday. My gift was the beautiful cake that Kai, K'la & their wonderful mom made. Definitely check out their site KakeKlub.Com; They're ridiculously talented & even made my birthday cake last year & will always make my cakes from now on. BUT, I love Jae & I adore her family & I had way too much fun.

H E R

H E R a photo by Ahlexandria on Flickr.

Central Park. Saturday March 19th.

Fisheye'd Times Square

Fisheye'd Times Square a photo by Ahlexandria on Flickr.

Saturday March 19th.

Cool Breeze.

Cool Breeze. a photo by Ahlexandria on Flickr.

Central Park. Saturday March 19th.

Looking Up.

Looking Up a photo by Ahlexandria on Flickr.

Fisheye (wide lens). Central park on Saturday March 19th.

Protein Water Mix.

I was going to try this Kellogg's Protein Water Mix in Strawberry Kiwi flavor. It seemed interested because it helps surpress your hunger & you just mix it in your water, almost like Crystal Lite. I purchased it last night at Rite Aide to have it for this morning. I took the package, put it in my bag & when I go to actually use it, I notice a date at the bottom. IT WAS EXPIRED! Me, like the idiot that I am, I threw the receipt out. So I figured I'd try calling the 1-800 number for Kellogg's & see what would happen. They offered me some coupons to help me on my next purchase, & apologized. They also said they'd go to that Rite Aide & get the items pulled off the shelf & restocked. I guess I will be waiting to try them.

Blandishment.

Noun; Flattering speech or action.


It's always good to learn a new word. So I figured I'd post a word that I barely even know and give the defintion. Hopefully readers can make use of the word as well.

Snow & Holly.

Snow & Holly. a photo by Ahlexandria on Flickr.

One of the beautiful things about snow fall.

Pi Day.

What better title for 3.14 but Pi Day?! I mean call me a complete nerd, but I love math & one great thing about it is you can always find ways to relate it to life.

Anyways,
My day was hectic!
I can't believe the things that I have been going through, but what can I do but keep going through our day to day. I know life isn't always going to blue skies & rays of sunshine, but things just seem to come all at once. As over whelming as it all is, I'm trying to pace myself before I go completely insane.

Sigh.

I Walked Out On Her.

I remember it like it was yesterday. The decision I made walking out on her, to up & leave. I was so fed up, so tired of everything. I couldn't deal with the attitude anymore, the fighting, everything got too overwhelming. I needed a break, and my break ended up turning into a break up. I was so annoyed, I made one phone call, packed all my things and just walked on out of her house, her life.

This decision was completely in the moment, do I regret it? No, not for one second. It was what we both needed. If only I sat there and took the time to fix it after walking away from it all. Took the time to rekindle our love, the friendship we should have built, getting to know her. 'Til this day I wish I could, I wish I could fix how things turned out, but only time can tell what will happen. We still bump heads, we still are not as civil as I would have hoped we would be. We have so much animosity towards one another it makes things completely difficult.

That habit, the walking out of her, I don't want to do that again. I have threatened her so many times, telling her I'd walk out. I don't want to be that person to just up & leave when times get extremely hard for me. I need to learn to stick with it, no matter what tears & agony is causes.

All I can constantly say is sorry, because I am. But maybe one day I'll be able to show her.

Restless

Seriously!
Ever since I've been taking this medicine that's supposed to help me with one of my many health issues, I haven't been able to sleep good. I am knocked out for about 2 hours & from there it's a ton of tossing & turning. My eyes burn throughout the day, I get cranky & I try to control it but my body is drained. I've tried drinking a nice tea to sooth me, I've tried NyQuil & I'm just stuck.

I've been up since 7:30am, which is when I started writing by 'About' section and trying to fix everything on this blog. I started getting annoyed when I tried going to my GoDaddy account & changing my .com here. It worked for a bit, then it started acting up. I will need to figure that out when my eyes aren't on fire. I had a yogurt for breakfast, & I'm waiting to see if Nelly still wants to do her shoot today. Other then that I'm trying to take a nap, but it's not working at all.

I should get to doing my school work, but my mind isn't going to focus on everything for my exams. Goodness gracious!

Hot Mess.

Hot Mess. a photo by Ahlexandria on Flickr.

This was taken back in December of 2010. I'm still determined to get into shape, I've been working on it. Hopefully there will be some cuts in that tummy soon.

For Now

I think the simple look will work for my .com. Moving it over from Tumblr to Blogger was a big move since the followers I have on Tumblr most likely won't follow here. If they do that's fantastic, but if not then like I said I will still write what I want. It's a good way to just get away, have a different look & approach my blog in another way. I was tired of Tumblr & what is offered (blogger wise). I guess this is more personal & people who do follow me can comment & leave the feedback that they want.

Let's see how this all turns out.

Surprises Are Always Nice!

Well surprises like these are always nice. My friend Michele since I was 9 arranged a beautiful bouquet of my favorite; white chocolate covered strawberries. Her & her cousin sent them to me just to cheer me up. I can't smile any bigger for this delicious gift. :) Love you both.

5pm at 8am?

The weather is completely out of it. One minute its gorgeous outside, the next its absolutely disgusting. To think its this dark so early. This is how gloomy it is right now in Manhattan.

Self Evaluation.

With the new year coming we all create these resolutions that we want to achieve. How many of us though actually follow through with them? I've set out a couple of resolutions myself & although one of them I'm still working on, I still fulfilled a part of it.

I wanted to go back to school, by any means possible I was determined. I have recently applied & started classes again to get my certification in accounting & work towards a degree in business-accounting.

Losing weight, getting into shape, toning my body up - this is the one that's tricking me a bit. Its hard to go to the gym, but I've found ways of exercising while doing my day to day. I love healthy foods, I eat healthy foods & adding them into by daily meals has been simple. Also to help I've purchased a colon cleanse, dietary herbal supplement. Since I have problems with my health & my colon influencing one of them, I felt this was a plus for both losing weight & getting healthy.

Self improvement was one of my biggest challenges. I've been reading self help books, finding different ways to manage & control my feelings, as well as distancing myself from negative energy. As hard as this all is, as frustrated as I get, I've encountered some great lessons along the way. Improving myself is not only a positive feeling, but the knowledge you gain helps open your eyes.

I know I have more in my list, but my these are in my top choices. Hopefully one as simple as blogging once a day will work as well.

- Ahlexandria

The Reverse Exhale.

The Reverse Exhale. a photo by Ahlexandria on Flickr.

Backwards motion. Smoke leaking from the mouth.

One picture that I loved taking.

Love.

What we all end up looking for, hoping for & wanting. So impatient that we don't ever let it come to us. We find ourselves in relationships where we want to find love, but in never comes to us. We think it exists with who we are involved with, but in reality it just becomes lust, infatuation.

When we finally find it we question ourselves, question the love. Did you imagine it being as difficult when you once wanted it? Keeping the relationship together, still loving & not giving up. Love then becomes this obstacle, instead of what we feel for someone. "I love you, but this can't work." Isn't loving someone supposed to be an unconditional feeling?

I've loved, I still love, but I ask myself this from time to time.

Chilled Face.

Chilled Face. a photo by Ahlexandria on Flickr.

Always nice to look back on certain pictures.

Blogging.

It has become such a necessity in my life. With what I’ve been dealing with I decided to find a new place to blog & let my ideas go. I’ve relied so much on Tumblr & its brought about a different side of blogging. I write to feel free, to be able to share my thoughts, not for anyone to insult me in anyway for what I post. But I guess that is what comes with blogging, you get critics.

No feedback means you’re not doing something right. It means no one is paying attention to what you have to say, but I’m not sure I can deal with negative feedback too good at this point. Considering all the recent events I rather be able to write freely without feeling like I will have someone lashing out at me.
In time I hope to make this blog more of what I want it to be. I plan on moving my .com here as well as getting a designer to help with the html. For now, it can be simple & plain. This can be where my mind wonders & for those who do know about it enjoy what I post.

Don’t get me wrong I don’t want anyone to hold back how they feel or what they think, please do share. An opinion can always help create a new idea for posts. I just feel that lashing out about a post you have no read in depth, or between the lines will only cause a mix up.

Happy blogging.
- Ahlexandria